Well it’s been too long since I blogged. GUILTY!!! Every day I think I must blog however I get home & am sooo tired that to turn on my laptop seems an ever arduous task. the weather has been so bloody foul, too hot to think straight & copious long hours at work as well, have had me fatigued beyond words. However, I have somehow happy made great meals from many good salads stored in containers in the fridge, ready to go into my lunch container & water made up to keep me hydrated. I am feeling in control & on one hand the food has been great, healthy & nourishing. yesterday I went to the stupidmarket & damn I bought some chocolate eggs & I’ve eaten them already in 1 sitting. I can’t stop at 1, I shouldn’t buy it all….so that’s the thing. DON’T BUY THEM OR ANYTHING that is packaged. If it doesn’t grown on a tree, isn’t a natural meat product, grown in the ground or is a benefit to my gut, I SHOULDN’T PUT IT IN MY MOUTH!!! I thought today that I should put a photo of me (when I was at my goal weight) on the fridge, so every time I am looking for something scrummy to eat (& hopefully there isn’t anything crappy but scrummy to eat) & I can look at the photo to remind myself of what I can achieve IF I TRY & stick to the plan. Man it’s a bloody tough journey. Even with doing this with D I still am on my own as she is too & we are totally accountable to ourselves. THE ONLY PERSON WE LET DOWN IS OURSELF. Must get some sleep. Love C

So week one of work is over.

I didn’t ride my bike everyday … I skipped Wednesday and walked about 2.5 kms. I was a bit dumb and hadn’t thought about how much consecutive days of riding would hurt!

I had some things to get in the stupidmarket on Wednesday, and was wandering about aimlessly and suddenly realised I was in the chocolate aisle!! I was so freaked out, I turned on my heel and almost ran out of the aisle!! Then I had a good old chuckle at myself 😆

I’ve not slept terribly well this week…I think it has been the excitement of a new office and a new routine. I have a busy weekend with not much down time…so I’m hoping for an early to bed and good night’s sleep on Sunday … to start week 2 on my best foot.

Love D

So tomorrow is 14th Jan and I’m back to work. Still chocolate free … although I did dream about m&ms last night!! What’s that about?!

So tomorrow is also the start of riding to work EVERYDAY!! Over the hols I’ve only been doing every 2nd or 3rd day, so this is gonna be interesting!!

I bought my last packet of fags yesterday … so I could be ripping heads off by the end of the week when they run out!! Advance apologies to my work colleagues!

So I’m as prepared as I can be for the next phase … groundhog days. Get up, go to work, come home, eat then sleep … then repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat. This is what I find toughest. I get tired & bored and the little voice inside my head, (or “girl in the attic” as a friend described it to me!), starts calling out. “I don’t wanna go to work” … “I want chocolate” … “I don’t wanna ride today” … “I deserve a chocolate treat for all the hard work” … and so on. The next few weeks will be hard. I gotta stay strong, keep my eye on the prize and tell the voice to quiet down and let ME get on with the job.

As I said…it’s going to be interesting …..

Love D

Not to London to see the Queen that is for sure!! But I went away for the weekend with 2 friends and I must say I didn’t stress out about food. I took my snake juice with me so my electrolytes were up which is my water intake. I had fish & scallops for dinner after our nightly entertainment finished. No chips as I don’t like them anyway…..and like D no chocolate or sugary stuff since the 3rd. I ate what I had in the fridge before then, coz god help me if I had to throw it all in the bin. The bin is also my gut, which got so much bigger over the xmas period. I totally relaxed and ate what ever I wanted……that’s the problem my metabolism doesn’t do well with eating what ever my eyes see. The older I get the harder it is.

I haven’t done any exercise yet….and I DO want to. My migranes have been debilitating and holding me back,….however I have been better at planning food, making my almond milk & I still love my coffee’s. This is only my 2nd blog & I need to focus on it each day. I DO feel psychologically better in every way because I am not having sugar. I feel on top of it and I’m winning and the sugar is now not having an affect on me. That is freedom!!! Many years of giving in to the calling of sugar, ice-cream or packet chips at times, because I just wanted it, made me feel rotten because it does rot you from the inside out. Literally!!! I am doing better & thanks to this blog I will keep it up and I really want to see the results. Stay tuned. Oh yeah the detox from sugar for days was hooooooorrible!!!! So glad I’m on the other side of that now. I was starting to get arthritis badly in 1 of my fingers & it was looking like rheumatoid arthritis & that’s just not going to happen to my body! Since cutting out the sugar the swelling has gone & the pain in nil. My head is clear & my motivation is back to make a life not just making a living at work. ALL IS GOOD TODAY!!!! ;-)) Love C

So far so good on the chocolate ban 👍

But…I think I have replaced it by smoking more cigarettes!!

I know, I know … that’s probably worse, but the crazy thing is I find giving up the fags easier than giving up chocolate. When I go back to work after the Xmas break will be when I will attack the smoking thing.

They say to tackle one thing at a time, but I’ve let myself get so far off the track that it’s difficult to know what to do first. So I’ve opted for no chocolate and increased exercise as my starting place. Oh and drinking more water and eating healthy meals. Not exactly one thing at a time!! This whole “loose weight and get fitter” thing is gonna mess with my head before I see any results!!

Love D

Well I thought I had this! I thought to myself…you are going to eat clean today, you can do this….I started the day with water…yipppeee great start I said to me. Then of course the obligatory coffee (no dairy I say can’t do that anymore because of mucous build up anyway) so I made almond milk in my thermie and had a coffee….noice aaaahhhhrrrr!!! I need to get a food diary & jot down what I eat because even tonight I can’t remember what I have shoved down my gob, ok dry biscuits & cheese, ice-cream (it looked at me when I opened the freezer & it won damn) yoghurt (yep dairy bugger) with chia – helps poo out the food you just ate awesome I think to myself and a fresh mango. easy day…then broccoli salad and xmas left over ham. followed my fresh strawberries. Ok shit I forgot to mention the 2 gin and tonics, well they had lime in them, that’s got to be good for you right? ..well all in all it was a day…that’s it A day…not a bad day…not a good day….just a day like any other but no chocolate or chips …ok I had ice-cream. I vow to myself that I will not bring home any crap food, buy crap food and I’ll keep this blog going. Ultimately I want to fast & NOT eat anything at all. I’ll get there as I’m determined to and having one of my best friends with me on this journey of self expression, self love, self acceptance and self awareness, I can only do better than yesterday and last year. If not there’s always tomorrow. goodnight this fat lardie has gotta go to bed.

Love C.

Crikey C … I feel like a simpleton!! I just had bircher for breaky, fruit for lunch & chicken salad and a yogurt for tea. But I did go for a bloody long bike ride today so really I had no energy left for anything else…and my bum’s sore!!

Love D.